There’s nothing more satisfying for a man than to grill. Just before, we get the meat we’re about to cook, and we prepare it. I love using olive oil and pepper and garlic salt to season steaks and chicken, and I love using pepper and tabasco sauce for Hamburgers, to give them a spicy kick. Then you take that to the Grill, and you start cooking your meat. The sweet flavour of meat and fire fills the air, and you meditate as your meat cooks, focusing on the pleasure of the moment. I can only think of one other thing that is more pleasurable in the moment, eh guys!
It seems the feminists realise that too now, especially self-hating male feminists, who lament of the ‘inherent sexism’ of the desire to grill!
How can you hate yourself for doing something you love doing? This kind of nasty mental gymnastics, when I first saw it, I was shocked and in awe as Armoured Skeptic shared this on Twitter on Thursday.
The following story segments are all from Grillax, Bro
I hate how much I love to grill. It’s not that I’m inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I’m uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine. Looming over the coals, tongs in hand, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad. At such moments, I get the sense that I’ve fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I’ve spent years trying to undo. The whole business feels retrograde, a relic of some earlier, less inclusive era.
I take food prep a little too seriously, curtly brushing others out of the way when I step up to the kitchen counter. In my online dating days, I tried to spin this fault as a feature, describing myself as “a finicky, meticulous cook.” On reflection, I’m probably just kind of a jerk, but when I’m grilling I worry that I’ve become something even worse. Am I shoving others out of the way because it makes me feel like a man? Have I become some sort of monster?
With the constant barrage against ‘gender roles’ that feminists always drone on about, you can see why he is using this language. Conventionally masculine, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad, I’ve fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I’ve spent years trying to undo, I’m probably just kind of a jerk, but when I’m grilling I worry that I’ve become something even worse. Am I shoving others out of the way because it makes me feel like a man? Have I become some sort of monster?
All of this says one thing. I feel guilty that I have a penis and I enjoy something! If I enjoy it, it must be sexist, and I am going to write an entire article about how evil I am because I am a grilling monster! Please, can my wife detoxify me from my masculinity!
Paging through photographs of my years in grad school recently, I came across one in which two colleagues and I stand in a semicircle around a kettle grill. Though my eyes are downcast in the image, I’m not sad. Instead, I’m studying the burgers in front of me, and I’m happy. Our friend Katrina—the only woman in frame—leans in from the left, somehow outside of the scene, despite her presence in it. This picture captures so much of what delights me about grilling and so much of what embarrasses me about that delight.
Dude, the reason you love grilling is you are meditating while you grill. The more any human doing anything ‘in the moment’, the happier they become. Its one of the reasons why meditation works. I love staring at what I am grilling, talking to @PurpleHorse, enjoying the meal I am making for us. I love hearing when our apartment complex is opening the grill every single year. I can’t wait for it to happen!
This entire feminist thing where it is wrong to enjoy anything ‘manly’ or ‘womanly’, it is harmful. I wonder if the reason so many adults have depression and anxiety disorders is this attack on enjoying things because they are ‘sexist’. It’s just a theory, but if you feel so guilty for being a ‘man’, enjoying grilling some burgers or sausages, maybe you need to take a step back and say, fuck this. Why shouldn’t I enjoy this? I love doing this, and it makes me fucking happy! Or are you going to allow some fucking man-hating gendered studies professor to tell you to hate what makes you happy! Anything to make women happy right!
It’s not that I think we’re doing anything consciously sexist. Friends who were there that day remind me that we were actively making light of cookout customs even as we were participating in them. I suspect that everyone in the photograph identifies as a feminist. Yet the three of us look suspiciously like characters in a commercial, one where masculinity itself seems to be for sale.
Why shouldn’t masculinity be on sale! Why shouldn’t we be manly! Are you going to pull a MacIntosh here!
Never pull a full Macintosh man, never!
The association of grilling and masculinity partakes of a similar logic. Unlike most other traditionally “feminine” forms of domestic cooking, grilling typically happens outside, and hence in the public sphere. The putatively masculine quality of grilling may derive in part from the old public-private gender split. In that sense, it shares a common cause with the belief that women belong in the home.
Well, here we have it. This is why grilling is sexist. It happens outdoors, the domain of men! Get back in the bedroom bitch, I’m making my own sammich! Then I’ll drill you after I eat my steak!
Grilling is a social activity, and it is one where men take the lead! I forbid feminists taking this away from men!
Of course, having all this context doesn’t stop me from grilling, or from enjoying myself when I do. The other night, a few friends and I gathered out back to cook some sausages. We stood around the grill together, watching the meat cook. I was happy in their company and only a little embarrassed that I wouldn’t let anyone else take the tongs.
Dude, it is okay to enjoy grilling, and I am glad you do. If there is only ‘gender roles’, and the roles are just illusionary, the guilt you feel is just illusionary too, because grilling is not a ‘manly’ activity, it is just an activity that many western men love! There is nothing wrong with it. Have a good day dude, and stop feeling guilty!
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